Create a bedtime story about a dad named Dad who keeps farting whenever a firework goes off and everyone in the crowd faints each time Once upon a time, in a small town called Mirthville, there lived a jolly dad named Dad. Dad had a mischievous sense of humor and loved to make people laugh. He was especially excited about the upcoming Fourth of July fireworks display, as it was known to be the most spectacular event in town. Dad had a peculiar quirk that made his family and friends giggle. Every time a firework exploded in the night sky, […]
Create a bedtime story about a girl named Ruth that finds out she’s royalty but was kidnapped as a child. She finds out when she’s ten years old. She uses magic to bring kidnappers to jail. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom filled with majestic castles and rolling hills, there lived a young girl named Ruth. She had rosy cheeks, a smile that could light up a room, and a heart brimming with curiosity. Ruth lived a simple life in a small village with her loving adoptive parents, unaware of the incredible destiny that awaited her. One fateful […]
Create a bedtime story about a girl named Ruth that gets kidnapped by an evil tree and ends up turning the tree into a house at the end. Once upon a time, in a peaceful village nestled at the edge of a dense forest, there lived a curious and adventurous girl named Ruth. With her vibrant red hair and sparkling green eyes, she had an insatiable thirst for exploration. Ruth loved spending her days wandering through the enchanted woods, discovering hidden treasures and befriending magical creatures. One fateful day, as the sun began to set and painted the sky with […]
Create a bedtime story about a girl named Ruth who is on a journey to save a toothbrush from the evil Denture Demon Once upon a time, in a land filled with magical creatures and enchanting forests, there lived a brave little girl named Ruth. Ruth had a smile as bright as the sun and a heart full of kindness. One day, as she prepared for bed, she noticed her beloved toothbrush, Sparkle, had disappeared. Little did she know that the mischievous Denture Demon had stolen Sparkle and hidden it deep within the Enchanted Forest. Determined to rescue her toothbrush, […]
Tonight, Ruth wanted to tell stories instead of sing songs at bedtime. She asked if she could tell a story. I foolishly obliged. What feels like forever later, I’m so lost in this story and I’m pretty sure the entire plot and setting have changed a couple times. And she farted in my face when she was getting situated in bed after the story. So all things considered, it was a rather mild bedtime.
So, last night during Round 5 of my nightly bedtime bout with Ruth, I sternly told her not to come out of her room again, that she can’t keep doing that, that it is bedtime, “so stay in your room!” – well, I was back downstairs for maybe five seconds when one of Ruth’s toys comes rolling down the stairs and the pattering of little feet can be heard upstairs. It was like my own Chuckie, or at the very least, a Mr Marbles. At least she’s now back in her room.
After being in bed for a while, Daphne suddenly started yelling for us from her room. I walk in ready to give my stern “go to bed” speech. But instead I can see she had taken her diaper off. I flip on the light, and Daphne simply says, “pee!” – which she had done all over the sheets, after having first removed the diaper, of course.
I think the whole concept of “sleep training” with infants is bogus and any results are arbitrary – or not really arbitrary, but completely based on the demeanor of the kid – and not directly a result of the “training” Exhibit A: With Ruth, we tried this sleep training malarkey, but it never worked. She was going to sleep when she was going to sleep. Even if she was tired, if she wasn’t ready to go to sleep, she would will herself into staying awake and would yell at us for an hour or two from her crib. She never […]