The Crapshoot

Oopsie Poopsie

by Dad - May 6, 2018

Dad Frances Ruth Sick

There are moments as a parent when our dignity goes right out the window, as was the case over the weekend… Over the weekend, I found myself battling a severe bout of the flu. The symptoms hit me with full force, leaving me dealing with incessant vomiting and relentless diarrhea, Yes, TMI, but we’ve all been there. Despite feeling utterly drained and weak, I knew I had to make something for my kids to eat. In the moment, a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich seemed like the feasible option. I mustered the strength to hobble downstairs to the kitchen […]


A Dining Room is Not a Wading Pool, Frances

by Dad - April 24, 2018

Frances Mom Messes

In an unexpected turn of events, my adventurous 2-year-old daughter, Frances, decided to embark on a daring mission with the hose that she had been using to fill her wading pool on the back porch. Ignoring any notion of boundaries, she boldly carried the hose into the dining room, unaware of the havoc that was about to unfold. Time seemed to stretch in that moment, as the hose made its way into the room, and within what felt like a blink of an eye, the tranquility of the space was transformed into a watery chaos. The hose, though only present […]


Let’s Tighten Up That Plot

by Dad - October 17, 2017

Dad Ruth Bedtime

Tonight, Ruth wanted to tell stories instead of sing songs at bedtime. She asked if she could tell a story. I foolishly obliged. What feels like forever later, I’m so lost in this story and I’m pretty sure the entire plot and setting have changed a couple times. And she farted in my face when she was getting situated in bed after the story. So all things considered, it was a rather mild bedtime.


Dickmunks

by Dad - August 6, 2017

Ruth

Ruth: “Daddy, I chased the dickmunks.” (chipmunks) Coincidentally, her Mom doing the exact same thing is how Ruth got here in the first place.


Bedtime. Round 5. Fight!

by Dad - July 25, 2017

Dad Ruth Bedtime

So, last night during Round 5 of my nightly bedtime bout with Ruth, I sternly told her not to come out of her room again, that she can’t keep doing that, that it is bedtime, “so stay in your room!” – well, I was back downstairs for maybe five seconds when one of Ruth’s toys comes rolling down the stairs and the pattering of little feet can be heard upstairs. It was like my own Chuckie, or at the very least, a Mr Marbles. At least she’s now back in her room.


Goddamn Syrup

by Dad - March 15, 2017

Dad Ruth Food Messes

Ah, yes, how can one forget that unforgettable moment from the cinematic masterpiece, “Return of the King,” where Denethor, in a fit of madness, pours oil upon himself with a deranged countenance? Now, close your eyes and envision a similar sight. Picture me, innocently entering the dining room, only to be greeted by the sight of Ruth, settled in her bean bag chair with arms above her head, mirroring that same deranged expression, while simultaneously pouring an abundant cup of Aunt Jemima syrup and water all over herself. You know what doesn’t wipe up out of a rug and bean […]


The Struggle Is Real

by Dad - January 10, 2017

Frances Mom Ruth Messes

Came home to everyone asleep and the downstairs looking like a trash, clothes, and food bomb went off. I think the girls wore down Mom to a breaking point today. They win this round. My wife has to tangle with two very formidable opponents each day. My wife is awesome.


It’s a Crapshoot

by Dad - November 11, 2016

Dad Frances Garett Mom Ruth

Raising three kids, each with their unique personalities and characteristics, can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. One of the most striking aspects is how different they can be from one another. Despite being raised in the same environment and exposed to similar parenting techniques, their sleep habits, eating habits, and general demeanor can vary significantly. What works for one child may not work for the others, making it evident that a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting is unrealistic. Sleep habits are a prime example of the individuality among children. While one child may easily fall asleep and follow a consistent […]


Just Let Her Bite the Toe

by Dad - October 30, 2016

Frances

What is Frances crying about tonight? I won’t let her bite my big toe.


PEE!!!

by Dad - June 26, 2016

Dad Ruth Anatomy Bedtime

After being in bed for a while, Daphne suddenly started yelling for us from her room. I walk in ready to give my stern “go to bed” speech. But instead I can see she had taken her diaper off. I flip on the light, and Daphne simply says, “pee!” – which she had done all over the sheets, after having first removed the diaper, of course.